Ask Cheng!

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Special Note Ask Cheng is unhibernating for the spring and maybe not forever. Please feel free to leave your q's. Cheng may answer them.

Ask Cheng!

If you want to Ask Cheng!, talk to one of us, we will set you up.

Ask here! Click on Edit this page to add your question! Meepheus answers questions every Saturday or whenever he feels like it. This usually happens to be on Saturday.

Note to All Ninnies

Ask you can see, there are dates for all the questions on Ask Cheng. This is because we want you to put your question under the appropriate date, where it tells you to, and not at the bottom like some ninnies do. We don't have time to ninny-proof the site, so please be respectful and use the correct space. Thank you.

Part Two

Don't put spaces at the beginning of a line. Then you get runaway text that scrolls all the way around the world and is very hard to read. Be kind to eyes, don't put spaces at the beginning of lines.

 this is what the spaces make it look like.

The Questions!

June 25, 2010


Why do people say they're opening their mouths "wide"? If you open your mouth to eat a big sandwich, it gets taller, not wider. Also, what about "wide-eyed?"


November 17, 2008


How come Gas has never started playing WoW?

-Squeegie and Fatifah who can't sign into this site

October 4, 2008

Hey Meeph,

It's time for the '08 Ask Cheng!. How long are Chengameepheus going to be in Corea?

Fattisaio and Squeegie

October 22, 2007

Hey Cheng,

What's this "global colding" thing you keep talking about?


P.S. My room got massively warm. If you can explain that too thatd be good.

December 16, 2006

Cheng, do you think it's a good idea for us to start answering the questions for you? And if we did do it, do you think it's a good idea that we answer them in a profane manner?

Not really, unless you answer question by asking questions. This cycle questioning could help questions. No chengposters should be authorized in this zone. That would require a stern "Not in Big Momma's House" (the viewing of one of the sequels was denied by file's kgf). Its not cheng asks, its ask cheng. If I wanted to turn it into Cheng Asks, I could just put levers on my head and write a poll question on my forehead. Answering in a profane manner only fits if saying shintos helps a viewer understand a point. If the viewer is acting like an assassin or a chicken plucker, then you can plow them with a profanity sled led by some donkeys. the profanity key is punctuate, don't proliferate.

Stoogestein, I was just wondering, what are Cheng's plans for his winter break?

In order to continue laziness, Cheng intends to partially hibernate over winter break.

Follow up q: Cheng, if you were gay, would you tell any liu, gas, file, or anyone else on team stooge?

This depends on what kind of gay. If by gay, you mean happy, no. I probably wouldn't have to tell anyone, they would be able to tell when chengameepheus was keeled ova laughing at someone or something. If you mean the other gay, hmm, refer to the marriage question with a few changes. Instead of Vegas, put Mass. in instead. There would probably be no need for gas, liu, or file, or anyone else. There is also the don't ask, don't tell policy.

Stein, Why dont you power nap like usual and be online more during the wee hours?? It is odd coming online at 3 am and not seeing you online. You are losing your true computer skills. i think you should adjust for all the fans. -jobsome

I always take fans into consideration, but power napping is only to be used in certain situations. Considering my get-up time was 12:30 two days a week and unlimited on the weekend, pn'ing was not required. Instead, only curbing is required some nights. This means chopping an hour or two off staying awake at night and putting them in the sleep column. I believe for the most part, that I still am online at very late hours. I also don't usually continually get ask cheng! questions. This means that generally, this won't provide enough activity for me to stay up later. I will check this more often, although my computer skills will not perish if I am not on the dora longer.

Hey Meeph,

I have a friend who has a problem. You see, my friend is playing an old arcade game, but he's gotten good at it. In fact, he seems to have gotten too good for his own good; he's found what I think you call the Uppie Trap of the game. He found out a way to get high scores with negative effort. So now he can't play for score. Should he play the way he did before he found the uppie trap, which was fun?

Sincerely, Person

Seriously, you stop playing for a while. Then, you play the old way most of the time. One rule is that you have to play the old way until you beat it without using the uppie trap method. If you use the uppie trap as a method to win, that counts as an uppie trap game. In order to get full game beating points, you can't use the uppie trap. You can also play to find other uppie traps, but basically the prior rule i said applies. If you beat the game both ways, then you should probably be finding a new game anyways.

Dear Meeph,

If you have to hang out with someone boring and you need something fun to do so you don't get bored, what do you do?

Thanks, Some guy from Seattle

Hmm, this is a problem. Since the person is boring, they are likely to veto all ideas that are interesting and will prevent most interesting things from being done. The easiest solution would be to go scissor action and cut off the boring person. This would free up your connection to the boring. There is also the question of what kind of boring this person is. One would be that person vetoes more than a counterbalanced president. This likely indicates a differing view in what is found interesting. In this case, a fusion may be necessary. For example, person A might like sports. Person liu, 2, i mean, might enjoy doras especially. In this case, a sports game like ice hockey is a fusion, even if it requires mass confusion. The other type of boring person has a different speed mode than you. This means they rush around like a papparazi or walk around on snail-mode, depending on your operation speed. Depending on their operation speed, you have to attempt to slowly modify their speed of operation. So, with a snail, the person'll want to sit around and eat sandwiches. In response, you get the person to walk a block and get a sandwich. In this way, you at least turn a snail into a vulture, where the person at least moves before the person sponges. You can also occupy yourself with something interesting with no regard for the other boring person. So, if you were fidel, from cuba, and a hacker, you would hack with your dora and the boring person would be left to search for something interesting. So there you have it, you can eliminate, change-itate, or ignoritate.

November 5, 2005

[00:54] Tim a Gas: if you were going to get married, would you even tell liu and i?
[00:54] Cheng: thats a good one
[00:55] Cheng: hmmm

Timba Gas, I think i'll finally answer your q. In this situation, I would probably tell Liu. Gas could be not told, unless Cheng is assured of proper ventilation of the nation in the place of occurance. Liu would also probably know by default, due to the parent connection. This would also automatically notify fattus. If not or if Cheng went Vegas style, then Cheng would probably not say anything. Cheng would then appear one day in Canadia. Canadia would say "Who's that?". Cheng's answer would then result in a communal "What the stacks.", as well as calling cheng a stooge (or genie on) (depending on the situational circumstances). If Cheng required anything to be done with doras for the marriage, gas and liu would probably be told. Liu would probably be told, because he could be an accountant. Gas would probably be advanced enough by then to create a model Cheng that drinks iced tea and says random stuff. Gas would then control this Chengbot through remote control (Cheng would bribe gas through korean merchandise/food). If these missions are required, Cheng would tell gas and liu. Other things could enter into this. If liu had a long long sister (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, NO COMMENT), then liucipher would probably know (not my bad on that visual), even though he might not(stacks), but he could because of that. I must conclude that it depends, but that the answer is most likely probably. I just thought of another one, if Cheng got married in Poland or Africa, Fasfa and Gaski would have home court advantage.

August 31, 2005

Dear Captain Chengameepheus,

Where did Ask Cheng go? I haven't seen it for the past three months or so.

-An Ask Cheng reader

Ask Cheng died with the site for a while, but its up and running now. I would say i'm sorry, but I want to tko the stooge who screwged up the hosting site. Good thing for us, Gas was able to work things out for us. Ask Cheng IS BACKALUM, so get yourself asking q's and I will answer them. Another problem is that questions seemed to slow down, so get some stooges to ask some q's. Remember, Ask Cheng didn't go anywhere, the site went somewhere, down the drain.

Good q reader, Captain Chengameepheus

December 4, 2004

Dear Cheng,

What is your life story?


You need 3 people to answer that question. A Chengamepheus historian, Chengamepheus, and a fortune teller. Unfortunately for you, i'm not a fortune teller. Oh yeah, a camera man might be useful also. You might also need a Chengamepheus analyst. Oh stacks, i almost forgot, you need someone to write it also. And don't forget to have some stooges that can be witnesses, that way you can prove that the person existed. If you can't find any stooges, you just need to show the person's old house, that works just as well. From one of those stooges, u need a jiggily peice of information, that way u can show the person with the jiggily thing. You also have to have a cheesy company to show or publish or something your ninnish story. Right now, my life story is still in first stages of this, so if anyone would like to volunteer. You might be good for one or two of the positions.


What do you think is the best way to combat terrorism?

mr antiterrorist

Stacks. You appear to want to combat terrorism. There are a bungalow of things that you can do. If someone is chucking a grananade at something, you even then have a couple of options. You can gopher the block, watch, tko the chucker, follow the chucker, do what the chucker did, or some other ninnish thing. Chengamepheus would hand job the grenade away from the target, then chase down the chucker and put him in the Chrismission. Liuigi would activate his liu glasses, take a closeup snap shot of the criminal with his zoom in option, then he would figure out the radius of the grenade explosion and get out of the way. Fat Fingers would follow the grenade, try bashing it with a rock, and then try to eat it before diffusing it with a Neanderthal spear by some marigold. I could go on, but you probably get the picture by now. No certain response should be used every time a certain thing happens. Even that rule goes by itself, thats why it must happen sometimes. But which Ninnyhero would you want in your city?

Dear Cheng,

Who is deloras? (sp?)

-someone who wants to know

HAHAHAHAHA. I'm not sure what version of deloras u are talking about. There is 3DS, DDP, and the regular version. 3DS refers to Deloras Da Doom Sayer. When she is on this mode, she says the world is about to end. She also causes chengamepheus to crack up while in this mode. DDP mode is a slightly disturbing theory, created by not me. This theory says she for some odd/unknown reason, she wants to feed people to eat them. Once again, i'm saying not my theory. In the regular version, she cleans, cooks, and cooks. Pizza and chicken are the official foods of Canadia, i think, due to her.

October 23, 2004


Since Halloween is coming upon us my spooky friend, If you were a creepy ghost, what place would you most likely haunt?


First off, u took the name of an anti-ghost crew. I would hope that you wouldn't try to tko me. There are a bungalow of places that i would like to haunt if i could. First, I would like to haunt people that I know. Nothing too bad, but just a little bit here and a little bit there so they get spooked a little. It would be fun to haunt an MN, they would just blame the stuff on each other. That might make things interesting. I would probably see the world. Since I would be a ghost, no one would be able to stop me. I could easily hitch a ride and go anywhere. Flight to another country? Easy. I would be all over the place looking at everything. Hopefully I could fly also, that would make things easier. If I couldn't, I would just use cling-on mode. I think it would be interesting to see how people responded to a ghost or if they even would. I would also probably haunt sports stuff. I'm guessing I would be a good ghost, so that might not answer your question. If became a creepy ghost, I would haunt all the stooges I could. This would be done through observing massive amounts of stoogish behavior. Also, Count Chengula sounds like s nifty name, so that would be my ghost name. Just don't confuse me with that dude from Sesame Street, I wouldn't be as ninnish as him.

All Mighty Gang Banger Chenger, I have a question that has been perplexing me for many days now. Four nights ago I ate some corn with my dinner. Suprisingly enough that night and the night after I "dropped the kids off at the pool" and all of the corn I masticated came out whole. Why is that if I indeed chewed my food?

Signed, Dazed and Confused

Ps.The answer that I think might help with the timba gas is consuming a large quantity if chinese food-Thank You!

Its all good. You oviously didn't do the monster mash when u chewed ur food. Corn is just one of those food that can't get soupped and chunkied. As long as the corn doesn't clog something, then its fine. Also, unless your a stoolologist, you don't have to worry too much. You really only have to worry about really weird stuff. This would probably be blood and other weird stuff like that, not whole corn. I am just thinking now, what if u actually mean u dropped your kids off at the pool. If this is the case, this is also normal. When you throw up, the same thing happens. In fact, it is even chunkier and weirder looking in Goo Formation. The only way to prevent this is to do the Monster Mash. This would mean tko'ing the corn before you swallowed it. This would probably be annoying and would take a while. If you don't like seeing the full, then try this or just don't look down. As long as its brown, don't look down (means don't study whats in it).

October 16, 2004


I want to have lots of gas like Timbagas, what can I do?

Sincerely, Not Timbagas

Your in luck, there are a bungalow of ways for you to do this. If your related to Timba Gas, it might be genetic, but we aren't sure. Gas might just be a mutant, so it might not work that way. You can't just have a lot of regular gas that any person would have. If your just looking for any kind of gas, then just figure out what food/action works for you. For instance, if eating pidgeon gives u gas, u should probably move near squeegie. If you want the same kind of gas as Gas has, then u have to use a different manuever. You have to steal or buy Gas from Gas. You can steal it by collecting gas when Gas gives off Gas during Gasing. If you don't like stealing, you can trade for Gas's gas or buy some of it from him. I'm not sure how he sells it, but i'm sure he would for the right price. Another possible way of getting gas like Gas's gas is to figure out a way to change your gas into the right gas. I don't think anyone has been able to copy Gas's gas, so the best way is to collect some from the source. You could also schmodify your gas so it has its own qualities that are unique like Timba Gas. Good luck getting lots of gas. Oh yeah, don't destroy Timba Gas while trying to get his gas.

October 9, 2004

Dear Cheng,

Ok, so I like this boy, but i don't know how to approach him and tell him how i feel and it's driving me so crazy that i haven't said anything. What should i do?

--A girl with a crush

I actually answered this question before, so this is my second time. The first time, i went to save it and the page major maled. That is why it took so long for me to answer this question. I have to start my answer to the question by saying a few things. What the Stacks? WUMM? I'm just wondering why you asked me this question? But you did, so I will answer. In my first answer, i had a bungalow of things about approaches. Such as aerial, under, surprise, and many others. You can do a bungalow of different kind of approaches. The suggested one is the frontal one, where u go up to him. Just don't go bumper cars or plane landing. The telling part is easy also. Just say it, write it, or have someone else do it. There are a bungalow of things u can do for that, just pick one. There are also too many ways to say it, so I won't go through that. I really hope you weren't waiting a week for my response. If you were, you better just do it. It is obviously creating stress and thats not good. That probably explains the crazy part, so do something. Something would mean telling him, finding something else, forgetting about it, but just do something about it. The longer you wait, the more anti-stress soldiers you have to make to tko the stress. So remember, do something or forget about it. Also, something isn't nothing. Nothing only works when you don't want something. Try to think of a time when nothing was done and u got something. Did someone else/something else do it for u? Even if that something is sleeping, u still have to go into sleep formation. Nothing only works when someone else does something. There is probably some ninnish counterexample that i'll think of, but for the most part, that works. You should do something, and note to all viewers, my response before this was much longer and somehow much different than this one. It went more in depth with approaches and how to relay for life/convey stuff. If you want that version, ask for it, but i think this one works for most people and answers the question.

Dear Chengstein, I am unclear as to how timba gas affects the weight of a car. Could you please ecplain this to me?


Ns, good q. This is a very good q, because weight is important when it comes to cars. I will try to ecplain this to you. In order for this to take place, the timba gas has to be present inside the car, no other gas that i know of can do what timba gas does. The timba gas is released into the interior of the car (through gasmosis or using the container method/transportaion manuever). The timba gas is a kind of gas that sinks to the ground, so it sinks to the ground. When it is on the ground, it seeps into the carpet or whatever is on the floor of your car. The timba gas settles in the floor of the car and makes ur car heavier, since its so heavy. This is one reason that its not recommended to take a long trip with Timba Gas, because he slows you down. This gasation can also takes place anywhere gas is. If he were to ride in an airplane, the plane would get heavier. Timba gas makes the world a heavier place. When the gas seeps into the carpet or whatever, it becomes trapped between two solids(carpet and plastic or whatever the case may be). The gas wants to keep going down, but it can't use the timba gas seeping quality to get through some solids. This creates a timba gas pocket. These timba gas pockets decide to seep back up through the seepable surface they went throught (carpet). These are called gas ups, and the timba gas stays in the surface until it gets forced out or gets nuetralized back into a more normal gas. This normalization can be brought on by water and extra air. We do not yet have an answer as to if timba gas can last forever. We think timba gas can only last forever in science labs, but not outside of it. To make sure I answered your q, I will say again that timba gas increases the weight of a car through gasation and gas ups. Timba gas is an important gas to know in every day life.

Dear Chengon:

I am the coolest trekkie in the universe. But, I have a heart wrenching problem...I am torn between the vulcans and the klingons. If the two were at fierce battle, who do u think would be defeated? Help me find an answer to this dilemma!

--Confused Trekkie #1

This must be battle week. This is also an interesting matchup. The Klingons, i think, are stronger, tougher, and stubborn. The Vulcans aren't weak themselves and i think smarter than the old Klingons. I hope i don't have that switcherooed. If we assume that no other ninnish alien teams will get in on the action, then we can maybe come up with a projection. The Klingons go for the Hammer manuever, where they just keep pounding the emeny. The Vulcans would go for more of a chisel manuever, where they would try to outsmart and take chunkies out of the emeny. I think its also fair to say that the Klingons (i hope) have the forehead advantage. That would probably come in handy for close combat. The Klingons also have a much cooler name. It's hard to beat their name, and the Vulcans don't for sure. The forehead advantage, the strength advantage, and the name advantage are why I pick the Klingons in an upset over the Vulcans (did anyone think i would pick the ninnish Vulcans over the Klingons?).

Dear Chengie:

Who would win the Power!

Oompa Loompahs vs. Flying Monkeys?

Rappah DJ Hulk Hands

Wow, Oompas vs. Monkeys. Thats a really good matchup that could go either way. Flying Monkeys have the mobility edge. Oompas are really good at working together. The Oompas look tough, but I would have to go with the Flying Monkeys. It would depend on where they had the fight. If it was in the forest, the monkeys would get the win. If it was in a factory, the Oompas would probably win. I'm guessing they would have a bungalow of battles all over the place. The Flying Monkeys would win a bigger variety of these battles, and could even go onto the home turf of the Oompas and win. Now i'm thinking of another factor. It might come down to who can get more allies. The Oompas look funny with their green hair and everything. Humanoids would probably ally with the Oompas. The Monkeys would get some animal allies. If the Flying Monkeys somehow get Flying Orangatangs on their team, its done. The Oompas would have the advantage of making weapons and stuff. That makes things interesting. The Flying Monkeys would fly circles around the Oompas, but all they have to do is go camping and sing their Oompa songs and they could take out the Flying Monkeys. The Oompas have the green hair disadvantage. My doe would be on the Flying Monkeys because of the green hair disadvantage, mr. mobility, and I think they would be a lot better at Guerrilla warfare.

Dear Almighty Cheng:

What would your thoughts be if Mattel came out with a talking Cheng Doll?

--Mystery Doll Collector

I think if Mattel came out with a talking Cheng Doll, that I would like it very much. I could sue them, and get lots of doe. Or, they would give me doe in the first place. I would be a salesperson for the Cheng doll. I wonder why the stacks they would want to make a ninnish doll out of me. It is hard to make just one doll, so i'm wondering if there could be a little series thing going on. I wonder how many laughing hernias I would get from hearing people say what the stacks, holy schnikes on a pita roll, or knock down the wall. To make it an awesome Cheng Doll, it would have to be able to do some actions. I would say it should be able to do the elbow of justice and it should be able to make a squeegie pancake when it has to. The series could go with the Cheng story series. That might be a good combo. Also, I would like to hear a ninnish robot voice say reunintelligentationaltisms disease without saying it like re-un-in-tell-i-gen-ta-tion-al-tis-ms di-sea-se. If it made it into chop city, that would be annoying, but funty. Who would buy the thing? Everyone that would find it funty might, but it would probably get annoying after a while. I know I wouldn't want to hear myself that much, that would be double trouble. Another thing is what about new additions, would they have to update the Cheng doll every half-year or something? That might be good for me, but 1 is probably enough for everyone. I think celebrities, presidents, famous people, and famous children stuff are made into talking dolls. Good q on which one of those i fall into. I wouldn't complain though, it could start a Cheng Revolution. You know, the old get a talking doll, get famous, and then your good plan. It could also change language, that would be great if everyone started talking Chenglish. So if anyone knows someone from Mattel, tell them to make it. Then you would be able to add it to your collection there, Mystery Doll Collector.

Dear Chengstein,

How can I feel like pizza again? I just had it yesterday for dinner.

A luncher

Luncher, its obvious that u like pizza. Even more so, you liked the pizza that u had for dinner the night before. When you like something, you usually eat it again. If you don't like something, it goes the other way. Also, pizza is a very easy thing to get. It doesn't take much synergy, and u can even get delivery. There is no rule that says u can't eat something 72 days in a row, so whats wrong with two. Even though by the 72nd day, u would be way too much of a master at the food that u ate. Pizza has cheese, which makes it really good. The sauce is also good most of the time. Then u can always get pepps and other stuff on top, but of course u can always get more cheese. Another reason u can have pizza again is because of the food cycle. You eat the pizza the night before, but it doesn't stay in your stomach for a week. Some of it gets absorbed into your energy system and the junk gets punched outta there. When ur on empty mode, its good to refoodize. Thats another reason u can eat it two days in a row. Eventually, you probably go on a pizza strike, where u don't eat it for a while. Then after some time, you'll go back to eating more pizza. I call this the rotating food pyramid. If you go on mode mode, then it just keeps turning over and a new food is in the mode. There is also slinky mode, where it just keeps changing every day. Both slinky mode and rotating food pyramid mode can switch or whatever. Remember also that a rotating food pyramid has more sides than a ninnish food pyramid. Its perfectly fine to go on pizza mode, but I would not recommend using line mode anytime soon (when u only eat one food for a long time like 72 days).

October 2, 2004

Dear Mr. Cheng,

What do you think about Aristotle's view on female emancipation?

An Anonymous Philosophy Student

Old Aristotle. I don't think Aristotle has a very good view on things. He did back in the day, but now he just can't see things like he used to. I don't think that he can see anything now, or at least see and tell. Wait, he might be able to, if he has a ghost. If he is in ghost form, then he might have an awesome view on things. Or if he has the massive aerial view, then he's good to go. Then again, he could have the massive under view, which would be a very bad view. There are many possibilities for the view that he has on female emancipation. My answer to u is this, Aristotle has the same view as all the other people like him. But the view doesn't really matter, its the Aristotle that matters. You can just say that he has a different view on female emancipation now than he did when he was Aristoteling through Greece. I would also have to say that i think he has a better view on it now. He can probably see more things than he could before, plus has more think power. Well, experience, not capacity. He is old, so he probably wouldn't remember too much. That would also change his view. If your looking at something for so long, u forget/rethink the things u thought about it at the start. I normally don't think about Aristotle's view on female emancipation at all, so i'm not the master on his view. If u asked him, or an Aristotlologist, i bet they would give you more insight on his view.

Dear Cheng,

What kind of questions are better, advice questions or opinion questions?

An opinion question asker

I think both kinds of questions can be very good. Some questions are just too ninnish to be asked here. Opinion q's are good when u don't know what to choose. Advice q's are good when u don't know what to do. The better q's are the ones that i can adviceitate more on. So, after thinking about it, I would have to say that they are both about even. In Ask Cheng!, all questions are taken, we don't discriminate. Just ask away and you'll most likely get answer. This would be the first time, that i cheesely answered a question by taking both sides, so i'm going to pick one right now. I have noticed that people seem to ask better advice q's on here. I guess that makes advice q's better than opinion q's. The only thing is, opinion q's seem to be more puzzling that advice q's. In all, advice q's are better, because everyone needs advice a bungalow of the time. Advice q's also lead to strategery and problem solving answers, as well as interesting cheng theories and thoughts. This also makes advice q's a little better. Both can be used effectively, but advice q's have a slight edge.

Dear Cheng,

Everyone seems concerned with their own problems or questions, so I was just wondering, how are you today?

Someone Who Almost Cares About Someone Else (SWACASE)

Ah, very nice of you, SWACASE. Its everyone's job on here, except for me, to be worried about about their own problems or questions. But to answer your q there, I am doing great today. I would ask u how u were doing today, but i think i might have a little problem answering that question for u. I hope your doing fine, if not, then u can ask me a question or something. SWACASE, its good to see that u almost care about someone else, thats good. Das ist goot.

September 25, 2004


I have always been a procrastinator, and i can never get started on my school work. I told myself after last year, ok, none of this in college, but i just can't seem to be able to not procrastinate. What can i do?

Ninny By Name

Hmmm, I shouldn't really be answering this question. I do have a good perspective, though. There appears to be an easy solution on the way. Don't procrastinate. Go Nike style, Just Do It. Another good manuever might be to lock yourself in a room with nothing to do except the work u have to do. Make sure the work is for something thats due a while from now. I suggest the lock & work manuever, because it sounds like a good plan. You don't let yourself out until u complete your work. You can also use the cruising world usa method. This means u just go to the next checkpoint. So, when u get slightly more ahead, then u stay ahead using the checkpoint manuever. The deadlines are the other cars, if u are way ahead of them, u wouldn't turn around and wait for the other car. You just keep going through the checkpoints until the end of the race. The race is a long one, so its like cruising world usa marathon edition. One or both of the manuever i told u should work well. If not, i can always think of more. Remember NBN, you have to do something to get something done, unless u can have someone else do it.



My family is going on a ninnish trip lancaster next week. now granted, we havent been on a real trip together at the same time in like 6 years.. you would think that my parents would pick a better trip than 3 stinkin hours away. what should i tell them to make them see how ninnish this trip is and to plan a better one?

~Extremely Irritated

P.S. What do i do about the whole.. kissing the "rain" dealio?

Stacks. First I would say go on the trip and see how it is. You should just enjoy the feeling of doing nothing. To answer your q, if it is ninnish, just suggest a "better" vacation plan for them to use. If you really want to kiss the "rain", then go ahead. It appears that you might like kissing it, so I won't stop you. Even though it is ninnish, so make sure u catch it and ur not running around trying to do it. That does make for good entertainment, but then u look like a psycho, and i don't think anyone could disagree. Extremely Irritated, make sure u get unirritated too, it helps a lot. Also, there isn't much to do around ur uhreah, so 3 hours is a common distance to go. So you can't complain until its more than that about distance. I might suggest getting uncountryfied, though.

September 11, 2004

Ask Cheng! will be moving to its own page someday. In the meantime, ask away!


Where did the name Meepheus come from?

AAN (another anonymous ninny)

AAN, Chengamepheus came from one of those old epic poems. I am pretty sure it came from Odysseus. It just morphasized into Chengamepheus. There is a possibility it was a different character, but if so, i wouldn't know.

Dear Cheng,

I've noticed that the general public does not like Tired Terry. Why is this? Isnt Terry just a normal curious person like us?

-Stoner Stan

Stoner, I think you might be right. At least one person doesn't like Terry or didn't like his question. I think they were just trying to find something to complain about. Terry could be a normal person, but he did lose sleep over that question. I think everyone should take it easy on Tired Terry, he's obviously a very tired person that could have chronic fatigue syndrome or something.

Dear Mr. Cheng,

What would life be like if computers didn't exist?

One Inquisitive Child (OIC)

OIC, First off, there would be no Ask Cheng, at least not in this form. That should be the only thing i mention, but there are a bungalow more. Life would be sort of similar. We would be less advancediminitated and we would have to write down a lot more stuff. We would also have to use the team mail more. It might also make things easier, since we wouldn't have to worry about as much stuff. We could just live in the forest, while hunting and gathering for food. Life without computers would be simpler, but harder.

Dear Mr. Cheng,

Before you said that you can only lay what u are and u can't lay what your not. So how could the almost-chicken lay an egg that hatched into a chicken? Did the egg change along the way?

The almost stooge

The almost-chicken was like 99.9% chicken. Let's say each time the percentage went up .1 points, like from the 44.2% chicken to the 44.3% chicken. Its hard to say whether the chicken or egg reached the 100% mark. The 99.9% chicken layed the egg, but that egg wasn't a chicken egg. It was a 99.9% chicken egg. As soon as the 100% chicken popped out of that egg, it was a chicken. So just remember this, u don't count the 100% chicken until it hatched. It changed from a 99.9% chicken into a 100% chicken when it hatched.


Apple or purple?

Steven C. Shaffer

Stephon, This is an interesting question. Both words have ple's in them, so that means its a battle between pur and ap. I've never heard of a purple apple, so i'll have to pick one. Apples are red and purples are purple. They both have two p's, so its really a battle between a and ur, not pur and ap. I'll go with a, because its shorter and we use it more, i think. Purple is also the color of Barney, so that doesn't help. Apple is my final answer, i hope that helped you decide whatever the stacks u were deciding.

Dear Cheng,

Have you ever considered the possibility of an express Ask Cheng with instintanious answers? maybe you could have a fee or something

No, I actually haven't. I don't think that would work too well, especially if someone wanted an answer when i was sleeping or busy. I like the fee part, so now i am sort of thinking about it. If you pay a fee, I will answer all of your questions, just tell me how to contact you. I don't know how much the fee is, it would probably go by q or there might be package deals. Thats a good idea, so I may have to try that eventually. Don't worry people, i'm not Miss Cleo.

August 7, 2004

Dear Mr.Cheng sir:

What do you think came first? The chicken or the Egg? Please answer soon. This dilemma has been causing me to lose sleep for weeks.

Thank you,

tired terry

Dear tired terry,

This is a very good question. The old how did one happen without the other one problem. I'll take a thinking time out for this question

Ok, I have my answer. I believe the chicken came first. There are a couple reasons for this. Last time I checked, chicken eggs came from chickens. The easter bunny didn't set out a couple chicken eggs or anything like that. You may say that it was some kind of morph job. I say that still means the chicken came first. You can only lay what u are and u can't lay what your not. So the first chicken layed the first chicken egg. The egg that hatched into the first chicken was the almost-chicken egg, because it was laid by the almost chicken.

Dear Mr. Cheng sir:

Don't you thing tired terry needs to get a life? And don't you agree he also requires a kick in the neck? I mean i don't know this "tired terry", but he sounds like an imperial stooge.

Thank you,

Some Annonomous Ninny (SAN)

Dear SAN,

I hope your talking about the person tired terry and not the substance. Tired terry may not require a life. The chicken or the egg question is pretty puzzling. Also, a kick in the neck may not help in getting a life, but it might. It may allow tired terry to collect disabilities. Unfortunately for u, SAN, tired terry happens to have the best question on the board so far.

Dear Prof. Chengstein,

What has more mass, tired terry or timbagas (the substance, not the person)?

Dear ,

That is an interesting question. Tired terry and timbgas are very different substances. Timbagas is a gas and tired terry is solid. Timbagas is the heaviest gas in the world, but it can't match the mass of tired terry. Timbagas makes things heavier when it seeps into them. Its a gas that when released, likes to soak into the floor or just keep going down. Tired terry has nothing useful other than maybe being a better door stop or something. If someone asks u if u want tired terry or timbagas, always gopher the timbagas.

where is my money for the "stuff"?

                        the dealer

I don't owe no one no money. I think your talking to the wrong person, i can only answer for cheng. Your money could be in many places. It could be in your pocket, in your wallet, or maybe in your checking account. Someone else might have your money, if they came into your house and took your money. That would be stealing, so call the police. Make sure they have a video camera, that way u can be on COPS if u try to run away and get caught.

dear Cheng,

When are you going to get off ur butt and get a job?

I am probably going to move after i'm done finishing answering these questions. The job part might take a while, but u can do many jobs. There are many useless things u can do. I could also call over Job and then that would be getting a job. So I will probably do part of it today and part of it tomorrow or maybe not, the choice is mine.

Dear cheng,

i know these people who waste their money on useless things for their cars like tinting windows. cheng how do i tell them to buy something useful?

                     someone with commen sense

Hmm..sounds like someone with commen sense needs to go back to school. Common sense would make more sense than commen sense. It is quite obvious that if u want them to buy useful stuff, then u could tell them that by saying to them to buy useful stuff. All you have to do is open your mouth and tell them to buy useful stuff. Most people can speak, so they can tell people what to do. It also depends on what u call useless. Tinting windows was one of your examples. What if one of these people forgot their sunglasses, these tinted windows would change the whole mo of the game. They must make this stuff for something. Just tell them, stooge.

Dear Cheng

whats a good question to ask on "ask cheng"

             I dont understand this concept

Thats a very good question. You can really ask anything thats not disturbing/graphic. Whenever anything is puzzling u or if ur deciding between two options, just ask cheng. Questions that could help others are also good questions. Arguements that don't have an obvious answer are good questions. If you want to see my opinion on something, then u can just ask away. Cheng has an opinion on anything and will always give you an answer. You can also find good questions from reading the questions other people ask. These answers aren't the only answers, but they are top of the line answers. Asking questions can be very helpful when used properly, so don't overquestion. More questions are better than less questions, so keep asking.